Softness and rudeness

“By the grace of Allah, you were gentle towards them. But if you were rude and hard-hearted, they would certainly leave you … ” [Quran 3: 159]

Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah said:

“It is necessary to treat people as it should be – with kindness and gentleness, and not rude, harsh and cruel. Whoever shows rudeness pushes people away from himself and sets them up against himself. In addition, by behaving in this way, he harms his own heart and the state of his relationship with Allah Almighty. There is nothing more beneficial to your heart than a gentle and kind attitude towards people. By doing this, you will win the love and disposition of the distant, strengthen friendship and love with loved ones, extinguish the fire of malice in the heart of the enemy and protect yourself from the evil of the hater. It is easier to endure the hardships associated with showing kindness to the enemy than to endure the harm that will result in a rude and cruel treatment of him. “

See Madarj as-Salikin (2/478)